Tuesday, 15 August 2017

August

Before this month, always, there is a lot of over thinking, soul searching and mind wandering
After this month, there is a lot of letting go, renewed plans and self-assurance
And during this month, there is a lot of unrest, a lot of doubts, and many realizations.

August, I can't say is the favorite month,
August, I can't say has always been favorable to me,
But August, I have to say, has always been memorable.

Each time it rains outside, it makes me nostalgic of everything
Each time the sun shines, it makes me a little more hopeful
Each time I see familiar faces, it assures me of love, warmth and conviction.

It tells me to reflect on life's journey, on the people met and the trails left,
It says to me to keep things close to my heart and be responsible of the patterns and the scars
It tells me to know that a few things, which are not easy to understand, will eventually amaze me by its simplicity and obviousness.
This is that kind of a month. 

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

Time travel on a rainy day

With continuous rain and a cup of coffee, it didn’t take me long to become comfortable in that seat which took me deep into time travel. Sprinting, ducking, gliding and galloping, I reached the time when I believed easily, when I spoke nonchalantly, when I cried easily, when I laughed wildly and when I lived seamlessly or thought so I did.

Few lines here and there and a few pictures here and there, whispered into the right side of my brain that I was pretty naïve and should have thought through things little more than I did. The left side says- the kind of person I have become- good/bad not sure, it has been an evolution- an evolution through years of efforts, dreams, achievements, goals, disappointments, heartbreaks, dances, jokes and strong relationships with each one of the mentioned. Everything then taught me so many things- the time then and the time now- to live more compassionately, to give more selflessly, to care more passionately, to laugh more effortlessly and to think more effortlessly.

Not every task taken up has seen completion, not every promise made has seen the light of the day, not every hand held has been for the rest of the life but sipping that coffee, I can tell you that every word spoken and every awake hour spent has been from the depth of self-belief and self-realization. Also, if in this journey, have missed people and regretted missed opportunities, have lived through those truthfully, painstakingly truthfully. 

If I had to change anything, I would not change a thing. It's alright if you still believe easily, if you try to find magic in people and things, if you cry because you care too much, if you laugh too much, if you love too deeply, and if you still dance insanely. It's alright.

Some coffee that was!

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

An Ode to Humor and Music

As taste in music varies from person to person, the funny bone also comes in varied sizes. Haven’t we all felt from time to time that music and humor connect people, burns bridges, breaks hearts, lightens up lives and makes people?

How many times have you read something funny and instantly thought about the person you know would enjoy it as well? How many times have you heard this brilliant piece of music and couldn’t let this one person escape your mind? How many times have you mis-judged humor and fired it in the wrong direction? How many times have you felt judged because of your choice in music?

Humor can be a deal maker or a breaker. Many use it to camouflage the present, many use it as a medium to connect, and many are spontaneous with it. A piece of music, when heard alone, brings in different emotions and when heard with someone who appreciates the same, brings in a different kind of emotion. Does it mean that both are ways to reach out to something or someone? Does it mean that both are ways to express what we don’t in our ordinary days? Does it mean life becomes prettier when you find someone with your kind of humor and taste in music?

Why does it happen many a times that the song we heard at the beginning of the day stays with us through the day? Why does a joke which made us hysteric the first time ends up bringing out the same decibel of laughter each time we hear or share it? This is longing. It is yearning for a good time, yearning to go back in time. The element of nostalgia music and humor brings in is massively cheerful or heart breaking. When we are nostalgic and find it difficult to find our way out, we take the help of humor and music. Let us not decide whether it is the right or the wrong thing. But let us leave it on the note that without either of them, life would be a little lost, faces would shine and fade a little less, melancholia would be an unexplored feeling, and time travel will hold no meaning any more.


Thursday, 14 April 2016

As I don’t want to give the post a negative title, I will go without one. The post will not be about anger, jealousy, or hunger for power. Much has been spoken about these. I want to talk about the things which we, as individuals, hide in the darkest corners of our minds, push them away thinking there are watchful eyes on us, and also kill them so that they don’t re-appear without notice.

Let us look at the times when we are not truthful because our minds have cobwebs of thoughts all over the place. We are not truthful because we are driven by fear- fear of the past and uncertainty of the future. Have we forgotten to take chances? Why do we force our brains to dive deep into calculations? When did life become Pythagora’s Theorem or Darwin’s Theory of Randomness? Wrong decisions can be forgiven but being untruthful to any body and essentially to ourselves is massively wrong. When we look outside for help to take decisions, we are untruthful to ourselves. When we do not rely on ourselves and shy away from seeing through clearly, we are untruthful to ourselves. When we try and justify and walk away from situations, we are being untruthful to ourselves.

In another story, we have also stopped being “good people” in its simplest form. We end up sitting with others and discuss life and its ways, but we fail to do the minimum which makes us considerably “good.” Good people generally don’t judge their fellow beings, good people are warm and love openly and are open to love. Good people don’t blame others for their states of mind and situations. If not always selfless, good people are more or less kind.

This brings me to regret. This feeling has been hugely ignored and is an under-rated driver of human emotions. In this run for self-achievement, self-loathing, narcissism, self-propaganda, and self-involvement, we overlook the possibility of neglecting simplicity around us and regret later in life. Regret has the capability of making a hole in the soul and brings an overcast of never-ending grief. If we are not attentive now, we will later regret the people who came and left us, we will regret “that which could have been ours,” we will regret “the place where we could have been.” Now is our time. Let us be our best selves for ourselves. Nobody can take that away from us. This will just ensure that we trust a little more, love a little more, be loved a little more, and live a little more.


Monday, 29 February 2016

What is missing?

It is cliché to feel a little lost and upset on Monday mornings and afternoons. I have often thought what is it exactly like to miss something or someone. Do we miss the good times spent with those people or do we miss their minds? Do we miss the laughter or do we miss ourselves with them?

There are these specific words and phrases which we use only with certain people. To me, missing someone or something even means not being able to use those words for others. There are these songs which you associate with people, places and events in your life. For me, listening to those songs, open the floodgates of memories. Probably this is missing.

Then, we have these events and episodes which we keep remembering. The award you received, the first kiss, the moment when you exactly understood it was love, the time when you made people around you proud, and when the sound of your breaking heart was deafening- you miss people from each of these chapters of your life. I have lived in various cities and have traveled considerably within the country and couple of times outside the country. I always thought and believed that I am detached and moving from one place to another was never difficult. With years adding up to my life, I have understood that all these places, the people, and the events have become a part of me. I am them. The moments I focus on any of the aspects of my personality, I am re-visiting all those places, those people and events in my mind. Probably this is missing.


This finally brings me to when you care for someone immensely, let us say, you love the person, you miss them on a daily basis. You miss everything about them- the way they eat, the way they walk, the way they smile, the way they look at you and the way they do everything. You will ask me so what is that something new am trying to state here. I am not trying to say anything new. I am just trying to remember good times. Being nostalgic and missing things and people don’t make you weak. I used to think that to express and say you are missing someone, gives the other person the power to make you feel vulnerable. But, at times you want to give away that power and feel vulnerable. Perhaps, this is missing. 

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Do yourself a favor!

So many times have I walked the extra mile which could have been avoided,
So many times have I let selflessness drive my decisions,
So many times have I thought in being simple, is the power,
So many times have I thought in return of love, you always get love. 
And so many times have I shed tears thinking I am wrong, yet again. 

In dealing with my own demons and chaos, I have, many a times led myself to self-doubt,
In being truthful, I have questioned my faith and understanding of dignity,
In my sense of independence, I have been fooled and destructed.
In my sensitivity, I have been carried away by the river of spontaneity.

This story here, isn't only mine, it is yours as well.
It is everyone's who think, in people pleasing is real joy.
It is for those who avoid listening to the heart which needs its quiet time,
It is for all the people, who hide their deepest side, under the garb of humor and casualness.

Do yourself a favor baby, just listen to yourself and then take the dive of your life,
Let your hair down and let go of people, things, memories, pain, which make you weak.
Do yourself a favor honey, for once, think about yourself,
Let your self-worth glorify and always know that you are here to create fireworks!

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Last Night

Last night while the breeze touched my face and moonlight was bright,
Last night when I accidently woke up to the soft light on my face,
I suddenly remembered that as a little girl I always wanted to stare at the moon and sleep,
I suddenly remembered how the breeze, the rain, the moon, and the waving leaves made me happy.

Last night while I let my mind wander and skim through the varied memories made,
Last night while I sang a song in the head, I felt like a free soul gliding through thoughts.
I suddenly realized how often we forget to be grateful,
I suddenly realized how things and feelings change in matter of no time.

Last night while I silently looked at the moon through the window like a baby,
Last night while I smiled at myself and my life behind,
I suddenly knew that the path ahead is going to be glorious like the moon today.
I suddenly knew that there is somebody watching and making life magical for you and me.