As I don’t want to give the post a negative title, I will go without one. The post will not be about anger, jealousy, or hunger for power. Much has been spoken about these. I want to talk about the things which we, as individuals, hide in the darkest corners of our minds, push them away thinking there are watchful eyes on us, and also kill them so that they don’t re-appear without notice.

Let us look at the times when we are not truthful because our minds have cobwebs of thoughts all over the place. We are not truthful because we are driven by fear- fear of the past and uncertainty of the future. Have we forgotten to take chances? Why do we force our brains to dive deep into calculations? When did life become Pythagora’s Theorem or Darwin’s Theory of Randomness? Wrong decisions can be forgiven but being untruthful to any body and essentially to ourselves is massively wrong. When we look outside for help to take decisions, we are untruthful to ourselves. When we do not rely on ourselves and shy away from seeing through clearly, we are untruthful to ourselves. When we try and justify and walk away from situations, we are being untruthful to ourselves.

In another story, we have also stopped being “good people” in its simplest form. We end up sitting with others and discuss life and its ways, but we fail to do the minimum which makes us considerably “good.” Good people generally don’t judge their fellow beings, good people are warm and love openly and are open to love. Good people don’t blame others for their states of mind and situations. If not always selfless, good people are more or less kind.

This brings me to regret. This feeling has been hugely ignored and is an under-rated driver of human emotions. In this run for self-achievement, self-loathing, narcissism, self-propaganda, and self-involvement, we overlook the possibility of neglecting simplicity around us and regret later in life. Regret has the capability of making a hole in the soul and brings an overcast of never-ending grief. If we are not attentive now, we will later regret the people who came and left us, we will regret “that which could have been ours,” we will regret “the place where we could have been.” Now is our time. Let us be our best selves for ourselves. Nobody can take that away from us. This will just ensure that we trust a little more, love a little more, be loved a little more, and live a little more.

What is missing?

It is cliché to feel a little lost and upset on Monday mornings and afternoons. I have often thought what is it exactly like to miss something or someone. Do we miss the good times spent with those people or do we miss their minds? Do we miss the laughter or do we miss ourselves with them?

There are these specific words and phrases which we use only with certain people. To me, missing someone or something even means not being able to use those words for others. There are these songs which you associate with people, places and events in your life. For me, listening to those songs, open the floodgates of memories. Probably this is missing.

Then, we have these events and episodes which we keep remembering. The award you received, the first kiss, the moment when you exactly understood it was love, the time when you made people around you proud, and when the sound of your breaking heart was deafening- you miss people from each of these chapters of your life. I have lived in various cities and have traveled considerably within the country and couple of times outside the country. I always thought and believed that I am detached and moving from one place to another was never difficult. With years adding up to my life, I have understood that all these places, the people, and the events have become a part of me. I am them. The moments I focus on any of the aspects of my personality, I am re-visiting all those places, those people and events in my mind. Probably this is missing.

This finally brings me to when you care for someone immensely, let us say, you love the person, you miss them on a daily basis. You miss everything about them- the way they eat, the way they walk, the way they smile, the way they look at you and the way they do everything. You will ask me so what is that something new am trying to state here. I am not trying to say anything new. I am just trying to remember good times. Being nostalgic and missing things and people don’t make you weak. I used to think that to express and say you are missing someone, gives the other person the power to make you feel vulnerable. But, at times you want to give away that power and feel vulnerable. Perhaps, this is missing. 

Do yourself a favor!

So many times have I walked the extra mile which could have been avoided,

So many times have I let selflessness drive my decisions,

So many times have I thought in being simple, is the power,

So many times have I thought in return of love, you always get love. 

And so many times have I shed tears thinking I am wrong, yet again. 

In dealing with my own demons and chaos, I have, many a times led myself to self-doubt,

In being truthful, I have questioned my faith and understanding of dignity,

In my sense of independence, I have been fooled and destructed.

In my sensitivity, I have been carried away by the river of spontaneity.

This story here, isn't only mine, it is yours as well.

It is everyone's who think, in people pleasing is real joy.

It is for those who avoid listening to the heart which needs its quiet time,

It is for all the people, who hide their deepest side, under the garb of humor and casualness.

Do yourself a favor baby, just listen to yourself and then take the dive of your life,

Let your hair down and let go of people, things, memories, pain, which make you weak.

Do yourself a favor honey, for once, think about yourself,

Let your self-worth glorify and always know that you are here to create fireworks!

Last Night

Last night while the breeze touched my face and moonlight was bright,

Last night when I accidently woke up to the soft light on my face,

I suddenly remembered that as a little girl I always wanted to stare at the moon and sleep,

I suddenly remembered how the breeze, the rain, the moon, and the waving leaves made me happy.

Last night while I let my mind wander and skim through the varied memories made,

Last night while I sang a song in the head, I felt like a free soul gliding through thoughts.

I suddenly realized how often we forget to be grateful,

I suddenly realized how things and feelings change in matter of no time.

Last night while I silently looked at the moon through the window like a baby,

Last night while I smiled at myself and my life behind,

I suddenly knew that the path ahead is going to be glorious like the moon today.

I suddenly knew that there is somebody watching and making life magical for you and me.

Let us call it companionship

Many of us get our hearts broken once and many of us get it broken over and over again. Then there are the fortunate ones who don’t get it broken at all. Here we are specifically talking about the “idea of love.” In the breaking, mending, giving away, fixing, and offering our hearts, what do we realize with time? Have we started feeling that to love, is a difficult task? Have we started looking at it as a burden? Since when did love and companionship become so complicated? Since when did love become so difficult to comprehend that it breezes away from us and we keep manipulating our hearts and minds? Since when did we become so immune to all the love floating around to absorb us, in all its warmth and comfort?

Since the time we have become unsure of ourselves, we have let love to go away. Since the time we have not looked at love as companionship but have looked at it as convenience, we have let it out of our lives. And the times, when we have let our pasts guide us through our presents and forecast our futures, we have let love go away.

Nobody can define love. Nobody is sure of what makes it or breaks it. But what makes it real and true is ‘being there and standing by,' and everything else just fits in. While you stand by your companion, every fear can be conquered and every hardship can be blown away. That one leap of faith has to be taken when you tell yourself- This is forever. 

People and purpose

Do you remember that gloomy Tuesday afternoon when you had no idea that you would meet someone who would leave a deep impact in your life. Do you remember that evening when you walked into a room without having any clue that by the time you leave, your life would have undergone a humongous change?

People enter our lives with a purpose. We spend our constructive and destructive times with them. They either move, make, love, destroy or significantly change us. We let them in and then the river takes its course. What we were at the beginning of the summer, we aren't any more at fall. Either we take pride in what we become or we can't look eye to eye with our own-selves.

People exit from our lives for a purpose. Probably their roles are over, probably we need to look beyond, probably we need to discover some other aspects of ourselves now. We grumble, weep, rejoice or stay unmoved. People exit because they have to and they should. They probably entered our space to open us up like never before. They probably came to help us hear our own voice. They probably came to help us love ourselves a little more than we ever did.

With years adding up to my life, I have understood that all the people I meet and interactions that I have with them have become a part of me. I am them. The moments I focus on any of the aspects of my personality, I re-visit all  those people and events in my mind. You have grown because of them. You have transformed because of them.

Then there are a few who you wish stay a little longer cause deep down you know, you impacted each others lives, but then there would be reasons a plenty for them to exit. But in all this coming and going, always be truthful to yourself and kind to others because you don't know how much you impact the other person's life. 

Magic

It's easy when they say- let's get on with our lives- people come, people go. It's easy when they say- life will continue any way, good and bad things will happen anyway.

They are right.

But you are right too, when you feel torn apart by the thought of everything. However splendid tomorrow seems to be, if you think something is missing and you are going to regret, you probably will.


Only you and you will have to live with yourself, only you would know what makes you happy in all your secrecy and what drills deep into your soul with grief. The magic wand is in your hand; faith in your thoughts and deliberation in your actions. Miracles and magic will never fail to surprise you. But when you get the chance to create magic, don't let it go. That will be your story when you look back while witnessing the beautiful sunset with your cup of tea!